GARNER, NC—Butterball is releasing a new turkey with a Biden-Harris logo seared right into its delicious skin so you can just claim your Thanksgiving gathering is a political rally, bypassing local restrictions against celebrating the holiday.
“Just serve the Biden-Harris turkey, and you’ll be free to gather,” said a Butterball spokesperson. “It’s the same delicious Butterball taste you know and love, now completely safe and legal for gathering to celebrate.”
The turkeys also come in Black Lives Matter, PRESIDENT TRUMP RESIGN, and RUSSIAGATE varieties, all of which qualify your Thanksgiving dinner as a political rally and allow you to gather with as many people as you want for as long as you want. Butterball is also releasing a line of Molotov cocktails to use as a garnish, so that when your governor’s goon squads kick the door down, they’ll be forced to apologize as they realize you’re just having a peaceful protest.
The turkey is also said to ward off COVID, since the virus does not affect people at liberal rallies.
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