Political Satire Archives

Who is Dr. Jill Biden?

September 12, 2023/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Elections, National Security, Political Satire /by DrRichSwier.com

By Simona Pipko

Trumpet Brief, published a column titled Who is Running the Show? on September 6, 2023. My preceding column What the Republicans don’t know they need for the 2024 Election, with the same idea of question, had been published September 2, 2023. The difference is that I put the question at the end of the column: What do you think, who is running Biden’s team of Socialist Mafia? In fact, I agree with all analyses in the Trumpet Brief, concerning Obamas. Nevertheless, based on my knowledge of Russian history, Intel, and especially the KGB’s Mafia/Army (my term), I am going to give you my personal version and the answer to the question.

So, what do you think, of who is running Biden’s team of the Evil Socialist Mafia? Socialist Mafia is a political term, it means the fix is in since 2015, the door to the White House is opened by Hunter’s shady dealings with the wife of the Mayor of Moscow. Remember, the overwhelming power of the KGB over all people in high positions in Russia and this Hunter’s linking in Russia means also a connection with Vladimir Putin. The KGB’s Mafia/Army and Vladimir Putin are inseparable and Putin is a devoted disciple of the Stalin/Andropove legacy. This historical line of connections plays an exclusively important role in world politics today—it will explain the Russian policy of “Disinformation”—covering up the TRUTH.

I have recognized the Stalin/Andropove legacy in 2021, insisting on my opinion that the Afghanistan surrender had been designed by Putin and executed by Biden’s White House. I am still sure of that, because I knew the strategy and tactics of the Stalin/Andropove legacy, and I recognized them immediately—I know the KGB’s Mafia/Army tactics and handwriting. Today I have additional evidence of my rightness. The 13 American marines had been killed by the ISIS-K suicide bomber. For your information the Stalin/Andropov legacy had recruited the leadership of Taliban in 1979 and using them today, second, Stalin married the Communist Ideology with Islam and the ISIS movement was created and supervised by the KGB’s Mafia/Army. Read my columns for free and learn about Russia’s never-ending attacks of Western civilization.

When you are familiar with the name Yuri Andropov the KGB Chairman 1967-1982, you also should know that he was the man who designed a simultaneous infiltration into the American Media and American Security Apparatus by the KGB’s Mafia/Aemy. I had this information from my Law School friends working with Andropov. I have served as a defense attorney for 25 years within the legal community of Russia. Only now we can move to America.

It is one thing to infiltrate America, but to infiltrate the White House is a very unthinkable task or agenda, but the KGB’s Mafia/Army had it and was working to find a woman able to do that. Forty-five years ago, Jill Stevenson divorced her husband. The KGB had confidence in her ability, and forty-three years ago a car accident killed Biden’s first wife. Knowing the KGB’s Mafia/Army tactics, I believe it wasn’t a car accident, but assassination to give Jill the opportunity to marry Joe Biden. Knowing that I will write a column about Jill Biden, I sent an email to Jim Jordan to request a police protocol of the mentioned car accident a year ago. We have already corresponded for many years. I don’t know whether he has the needed police protocol for a car accident or not.

Today is September 11, 2023 and our country commemorated 22 years since the tragedy. It is unthinkable, but the nation still doesn’t know that the crime of the 9/11 attacks had been designed and supervised by Russia. I have been writing and showing the ominous face of Russia for forty-two years, calling it the new “Axis of Evil”—North Korea, China, Iran, and Syria under the Russian umbrella. For several years I have been writing about Mexican Cartels, which are in fact, the Russian Cartels established by Stalin in the 20^th century and destroying our country from within since. Those Cartels are working to bankrupt capitalism. There are Medical Russian Cartels as well to produce false Covid-19 results and much more…

However, I can’t break through the wall of mistrust and ignorance of reality pertaining to Russia. America doesn’t know Russia and all our troubles are derived from this ignorance: the Dems gun grab, raising crime, inflation, immigration, indoctrination of our children, overwhelming corruption of Biden’s team, and so on. Finally, I found the column, which might have convinced you of my truthfulness. The one page of the column is so craftily and skillfully designed and covers so many current issues that I can’t limit myself by taking only a few quotations from it. The masterpiece should be read as a whole. I am asking Unmuzzled News to forgive me. However, I have no alternative but to publish the entire column. Here it is:

Jill Biden’s ex-husband made one startling revelation about the Biden Crime Family allegations

Joe Biden is not out of the woods when it comes to corruption.

Hunter Biden’s botched plea deal opened up another can of worms.

And now Jill Biden’s ex-husband has just made one startling revelation about the Biden Crime Family allegations.

Five years after the tragic death of his wife and daughter in a car accident, Joe Biden married his current wife, Jill.

Bill Stevenson, Jill Biden’s ex-husband, claimed that Jill met Joe while they were still married, not on a blind date as the Bidens tell it.

Stevenson also claimed that he was targeted by the “Biden Crime Family” back in the day.

Stevenson, who was married to the First Lady from 1970 to 1975, claimed that Joe’s brother Frank strong-armed him into giving Jill their house in divorce proceedings.

Dr. Jill Biden’s divorce from her ex-husband sounds like it got really nasty

He told Newsmax, “Frankie Biden of the Biden Crime Family comes up to me and he goes, ‘Give her the house or you’re going to have serious problems… I looked at Frankie and I said, ‘Are you threatening me?’ And needless to say, about two months later, my brother and I were indicted for that tax charge for $8,200.”

Asked if he believed Joe Biden was behind the sudden tax charge, Stevenson said, “I not only think it, but I know it… I was on the wrong side of them and they have literally come after me for 35 years in a row.”

Stevenson, a Donald Trump supporter, believes that he was targeted the same way Trump has been by the DOJ and the media.

Jill Biden ex’s interview put jaws on the floor with startling allegations about the Biden family’s tactics during split

He continued, “It’s hard to believe what they’re doing to President Trump… I can’t let them do this to a president I love and respect… This is the only reason I’ve come forward. It’s like I said, nothing about the divorce, no bitterness, but Jimmy, Frankie, and President Biden are very dangerous, and it’s tragic. I can’t let them do what they did to me to President Trump. I can’t do it.”

Stevenson’s tax charge vis-à-vis Hunter Biden’s tax charge is a clear example of the two-tiered justice system that exists.

Friends of the D.C. Swamp are protected, and enemies are punished.

Stevenson was hit with felonies while Hunter Biden’s tax charge ran into the millions, and he was offered a misdemeanor plea deal.

The Biden Crime Family was hoping Hunter’s exploits would be swept under the rug, but that has not panned out.

Stay tuned to Unmuzzled News for any updates to this ongoing story.”

The conclusion is stunning and very gloomy: Russian Intel has been on American soil since 1970s and that fact is missing by the American FBI and CIA. Both still don’t know the KGB’s Mafia/Army and allow it to run the White House. I hope that with the help of Bill Stevenson I answered the question of who Dr. Jill Biden is. The same game has been used in Ukraine to cover up the Dem’s long-term collusion with the Russian Intel. Ukraine is the operation “Disinformation” used by the Putin/Biden conspiracy, to cover up the truth.

Read my columns and learn about Russia and its KGB’s Mafia/Army—the Evil Doer. Without this information we can lose the American Constitutional Republic designed and left to us by our Founding Fathers.

To be continued www.simonapipko.com and at www.drrichswier.com/author/spipko/

#BoycottHersheys: Here Are 3 Chocolate Companies That Actually Celebrate Women

March 7, 2023/in DrRichSwier.com, Economy, Political Satire, Politics, Science /by DrRichSwier.com

By Family Research Council

The Hershey Company is facing boycotts and backlash in response to a new ad campaign from Hershey Canada, which uses a male activist who identifies as a transgender woman as a spokesman for International Women’s Day. The activist, who goes by the name Fae Johnstone, is one of five individuals whose likenesses have been printed on limited edition “HER for SHE” chocolate bars for the campaign. While the other four people chosen are actually women, the inclusion of a male dressed as a female in a campaign promoting a holiday dedicated to women has drawn widespread criticism.

Sadly, the trend of kowtowing to the LGBTQQIP2SAA mob in direct opposition to supporting women has infested many mainstream chocolate producers. In 2021, both Mars, Inc. and Nestle USA joined an op-ed in support of transing kids and decrying state laws that protect women’s sports. After years of popular chocolate companies supporting the erasure of women, it appears that Americans are fed up. This Thursday, #BoycottHersheys hit the number one trending spot on Twitter and inspired the creation of at least one pro-woman alternative to woke chocolate.

If you’re a lover of both chocolate and biological reality, there’s no need to continue buying from woke companies that hate women. Even in a world where radical corporate activism lurks around every corner, it is (nearly) always possible to find a small, family-operated alternative to the mainstream companies that profit from perversion and sin.

Here are three great alternatives to trans-idolizing chocolate companies like Hershey’s.

1. Equal Exchange

Equal Exchange, a fair-trade worker co-op, was founded in 1986 with the inspirational question, “What if food could be traded in a way that is honest and fair, a way that empowers both farmers and consumers?” Specializing in chocolate, coffee, tea, and snacks, Equal Exchange sources from 40 small farmer organizations around the world. Equal Exchange regularly highlights how churches around the world use their products in fostering fellowship and teaching their congregations about the importance of fair trade. Equal Exchange has previously highlighted its efforts to support women as small business owners around the world and at all stages of its operation — from farmers to baristas.

2. Gertrude Hawk Chocolates

Chocolate company founder Gertrude (Jones) Hawk began her career in candy at the age of 12 in a local candy shop in Scranton, Pa. At a young age, Gertrude left school to support her family after her father died and her mother became ill. In adulthood, she founded Gertrude Hawk Chocolates in her own kitchen as a method of earning extra income for the family during the Great Depression. Today, Gertrude’s family business continues to bear her name and celebrate her legacy as a female small business founder.

Gertrude’s descendants also operate the Hawk Family Foundation, which funds nonprofit organizations and private schools that seek to positively impact children, seniors, those currently incarcerated, and returning citizens. The fund specifically notes that it will not contribute to causes that support abortion.

3. Läderach

This chocolate company was dropped by Swiss Air Lines in 2020 for its owner’s pro-life and pro-family views. Then-owner Jürg Läderach was also president and board member of Christianity for Today — an evangelical organization based in Switzerland. While simultaneously running his luxury chocolate company, Jürg was known for his advocacy on defending unborn children, upholding natural marriage, and fighting the pornography epidemic — all values that directly impact the human dignity of women. Leadership of the company has since been passed on to the newest generation of the Läderach family under son Johannes.

AUTHOR

Joy Stockbauer

Joy Stockbauer is a correspondent for The Washington Stand.

The Washington Stand is Family Research Council’s outlet for news and commentary from a biblical worldview. The Washington Stand is based in Washington, D.C. and is published by FRC, whose mission is to advance faith, family, and freedom in public policy and the culture from a biblical worldview. We invite you to stand with us by partnering with FRC.

Is the Church in America Dying?

September 29, 2022/in DrRichSwier.com, Elections, Political Satire, Religion /by DrRichSwier.com

By Jerry Newcombe

“We are a religious people whose institutions presuppose a Supreme Being.” So declared the U.S. Supreme Court in Zorach v. Clauson (1952).

In an earlier decision, Rector of the Holy Trinity v. United States (1892), the Supreme Court said: “[Americans are] a religious people. This is historically true. From the discovery of this continent to the present hour, there is a single voice making this affirmation.”

The Trinity decision then went into great detail about the early colonial charters (mostly Christian). Finally, the Supreme Court concluded: “These, and many other matters which might be noticed, add a volume of unofficial declarations to the mass of organic utterances that this is a Christian nation.”

But fast forward to today. Recent assessments declare or imply that the church in America is dying. One headline (Citizen Free Press.com, 9/23/2022) described it this way: “Axios begins countdown to death of Christianity.”

Axios comments on the findings of the Pew Research Center: “Depending on whether this trend slows, stops or speeds up, Pew projects the number of Christians of all ages will shrink from 64% to between 54% and 35% of all Americans by 2070.”

These stories on the alleged death of the American church keep popping up. And I have often talked on the radio with Dr. Byron Johnson of Baylor University about them. He’s a professor of social sciences, and notes overand over that these stories give the wrong impression.

Johnson, who used to teach at Princeton and the University of Pennsylvania, co-wrote an article about the “Nones.” The Nones simply refers to people who would be categorized by the pollsters as having no religious affiliation.

The Pew study mentioned above, for example, declares, that given the present trends, by 2070,”’Nones’ would rise from the current 30% to 34%-52% of the U.S.”

But what Johnson and his co-authors, including the late Dr. Rodney Stark, argue is that many of the “Nones” might not be as irreligious as they would seem.

Here’s what Johnson and Stark et al. noted: “[M]any individuals who report no religious affiliation or check ’none‘ on surveys (as well as atheists and agnostics) display a wide variety of religious and spiritual practices and beliefs. Many attend religious services, pray, meditate, believe in God or a higher power, have religious experiences, and believe in heaven, hell, and miracles.”

It seems almost as if the “Nones” should perhaps be called instead “the Sometimes.”

Johnson and company continue: “Even though a growing proportion of people in the U.S. appear to be reporting no religious affiliation on surveys, there are many measurement-related, conceptual, and methodological reasons to question the assumption that these people are not religious, and scholars need to look more closely at the actual practices and beliefs of so-called nones.”

Johnson and his coauthors also take other pollsters to task for being sloppy in their terminology: “[U]se of phrases like religious none, no religion, and not religious to describe this group of individuals is inappropriate, inaccurate, and misleading since they may simply be institutionally unaffiliated or indeed affiliated but not with any of the list of categories provided.”

They conclude that more research is needed before definitive statements are pronounced: “More focused research is needed before we will fully understand who the nones are, and whether religion is actually declining in the U.S., as well as around the world.”

As Glenn T. Stanton explains in his book, The Myth of the Dying Church (2019): “The apparent shrinking of Christianity is both true and false. True in that nominal and weak ‘Christian-in-name-only’ folks are identifying as Christians less and less. But there is no indication whatsoever that serious faith is shrinking any.”

Stanton adds, “So is Christianity shrinking? Not if you’re talking about the biblically faithful congregations that call their people to genuine Christian discipleship. Only…the mainline churches…are free falling as if they have a millstone tied to their necks.”

“So the real story is,” notes Stanton, “this is a sheep and goats being divided thing. A clarifying of faith, rather than shrinking of faith.”

In John Calvin’s Commentary on Isaiah 9:7, he provides an excellent reminder for Christians of all ages that we are truly on the winning side: “Though the kingdom of Christ is in such a condition that it appears as if it were about to perish at every moment, yet God not only protects and defends it, but also extends its boundaries far and wide, and then preserves and carries it forward in uninterrupted progression to eternity.”

Dr. Byron Johnson told me: “Here’s a bit of advice: the secular media will continue to push out the narrative that religion is dying…why not focus on the hundreds and thousands of peer-reviewed studies that show the power of faith to transform?” That sounds like a great topic for a future column.

IRRATIONAL: California joins New York Declares Monkeypox State of Emergency, Biden Forms Monkeypox Task Force

August 3, 2022/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Elections, Healthcare, National Security, Political Satire, Science /by DrRichSwier.com

By The Geller Report

Following in lockstep with the the other Failed Democrat state New York. The only thing deadly here is another stolen election.

Here we go. Democrat pre-election fear mongering and chaos in order to usurp, yet again, American elections.

People are not dying from Monkeypox, a predominantly gay sexually transmitted disease (the hysteria over this from everyone else is irrational and painful to watch).

By: Don Thompson, AP, July 3, 2022:

California governor declares monkeypox state of emergency

FILE – A man holds a sign urging increased access to the monkeypox vaccine during a protest in San Francisco, July 18, 2022. California’s governor on Monday, Aug. 1, 2022, declared a state of emergency to speed efforts to combat the monkeypox outbreak, becoming the second state in three days to take the step.

California’s governor on Monday, Aug. 1, 2022, declared a state of emergency to speed efforts to combat the monkeypox outbreak, becoming the second state in three days to take the step. (AP Photo/Haven Daley, File)

SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) — California’s governor on Monday declared a state of emergency to speed efforts to combat the monkeypox outbreak, becoming the second state in three days to take the step.

Gov. Gavin Newsom said the declaration will help California coordinate a government-wide response, seek more vaccines and lead outreach and education efforts on where people can get treatment and vaccination.

“We’ll continue to work with the federal government to secure more vaccines, raise awareness about reducing risk, and stand with the LGBTQ community fighting stigmatization,” Newsom said in a statement announcing his declaration.

Nearly 800 cases of monkeypox have been reported in California, according to state public health officials.

The monkeypox virus spreads through prolonged and close skin-to-skin contact, which can include hugging, cuddling and kissing, as well as through the sharing of bedding, towels and clothing. People getting sick so far have mainly been men who have sex with men, though health officials note that the virus can infect anyone.

“Public health officials are clear: stigma is unacceptable and counterproductive in public health response,” Michelle Gibbons, executive director of the County Health Executives Association of California said in a statement. “The fact is that monkeypox is primarily spread by skin to skin contact and sharing objects like bedding or towels, without regard to sexual orientation or gender identity.”

The type of monkeypox virus identified in this outbreak is rarely fatal, and people usually recover within weeks. But the lesions and blisters caused by the virus are painful, and they can prevent swallowing or bowel movements if in the throat or anus.

The declaration in California came after a similar one in New York state on Saturday, and in San Francisco on Thursday. Newsom’s administration had said as recently as Friday that it was too soon for such a declaration.

After pressing for Newsom to make such a declaration, Democratic state Sen. Scott Wiener of San Francisco hailed the governor’s decision.

“The monkeypox outbreak is an emergency, and we need to use every tool we have to control it,” Wiener said.

American Southwest border sees 6000-8000 illegals a day, expected to ‘quickly double’

April 16, 2022/in DrRichSwier.com, Elections, Immigration, National Security, Political Satire /by DrRichSwier.com

By Jihad Watch

Not only is the Biden administration a global embarrassment, but it is also destroying America from within. The American Southwest border has seen a whopping 6000-8000 illegals a day enter, and it is now projected that the number will “quickly double” since the announcement of the end of the CDC Emergency Title 42 expulsion authority.

Since anyone is free to slip through America’s borders — including criminals, dealers and jihadists — it is no surprise that five sexual predators were arrested in the West Texas border sector in a week, or that U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers seized 123 pounds of drugs at El Paso area ports of entry over the past weekend.

While Biden builds a voter base comprising of illegals, America continues to crumble.

“EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: 250 Migrants Appear in One Hour in West Texas Town,” by Randy Clark, Breitbart, April 12, 2022:

EAGLE PASS, Texas — Border Patrol agents scrambled to respond to several large migrant groups early Tuesday. The migrants made landfall just south of the city in a steady flow to surrender. One subgroup of more than 100 were mostly Cubans.

Border Patrol agents took the group of mostly adult males into custody and began the task of gathering basic biographical information and inventories of personal property. Several Border Patrol trucks brought more migrants to a roadway from the riverbank. There were some female migrants carrying infants and young children.

According to a Customs and Border Protection source, the flow of migrants just south of the city has been steadily increasing since the announcement of the end of the CDC Emergency Title 42 expulsion authority. The CDC announced on April 1 that the emergency order will expire on May 23. As word of the program’s sunset spreads, the source says the increase in migrant crossings is likely to grow.

The source says daily apprehension totals are between 6,000 to 8,000 migrants per day across the entire southwest border – a figure which could quickly double. Even at the current pace, Border Patrol facilities are experiencing overcrowding….

AUTHOR

CHRISTINE DOUGLASS-WILLIAMS

RELATED ARTICLES:

WHO Boss Says Concern for Ukraine is Racist

The Wire Service Headlines That Mislead

UK: over 4,500 illegal Muslim migrants flow in via English Channel this year

Spain: Muslims block Easter procession, attack police who try to get them to allow the procession to pass

Elon Musk Offers To Buy Twitter For More Than $40 Billion

April 15, 2022/in DrRichSwier.com, Elections, Featured, Political Satire /by DrRichSwier.com

By The Daily Caller

BREAKING: Elon Musk has offered to buy all of Twitter. This NEEDS to happen.@ElonMusk can make Twitter great again!

— David Hookstead (@dhookstead) April 14, 2022

Elon Musk wants to own 100% of Twitter.

The tech visionary and billionaire recently set off a firestorm when he purchased a large chunk of Twitter’s stock, and he’s now coming for the whole thing for the price of $43.4 billion, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Musk wrote the following in part in a message to Twitter board chair Bret Taylor, according to the same report:

However, since making my investment I now realize the company will neither thrive nor serve this societal imperative in its current form. Twitter needs to be transformed as a private company.

As a result, I am offering to buy 100% of Twitter for $54.20 per share in cash, a 54% premium over the day before I began investing in Twitter and a 38% premium over the day before my investment was publicly announced. My offer is my best and final offer and if it is not accepted, I would need to reconsider my position as a shareholder.

Twitter has extraordinary potential. I will unlock it.

I can’t begin to tell you how much I hope this happens. It’s not just that I want Elon Musk to take over Twitter. It’s that we need Elon Musk to take over Twitter.

AUTHOR

David Hookstead

Sports and entertainment editor.

Aides Quickly Drag President Away As He Tries To Join In ‘F*** Joe Biden’ Chant

October 7, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Biden took a much-needed break from his 4-hour workdays and late-night Matlock binges to attend the Congressional Baseball Game this past weekend, but things quickly went south when he attempted to join the crowd in a rowdy “F*** Joe Biden” chant.

“Yeah, that Biden guy is the worst!” said Biden. “F*** Joe Biden! F*** Joe Biden! Hehe, nothing like a rowdy chant at the old ball game, eh folks?”

Panicked aides quickly grabbed him by the arms and dragged him out of sight to administer some additional meds.

According to witnesses, Biden later returned to the game and looked out on the crowd with his classic medication-induced serene Biden smile.

The FBI has confirmed they will be dedicating 1,328 agents to investigate who started the insurrectionist chant so they can be arrested.

RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE:

‘Working In Fast Food Would Be Humiliating,’ Says Man Living On Government Handouts In Parents’ Basement

‘I’m A Little Worried About What My Son Is Learning In School,’ Says Dangerous Domestic Terrorist

Top Ten Revelations From The Facebook Whistleblower

Infrastructure Bill Includes Capitol Building Expansion To Hold All The Pfizer Lobbyists

Hackers Warn That If Demands Aren’t Met They Will Reactivate Facebook

October 6, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by The Babylon Bee

WORLD—With Facebook down, and the world basking in the warm glow of a post-Facebook utopia, the hackers responsible for the attack are now warning that if their demands are not met, they will reactivate Facebook once again.

“We know the world is celebrating the peace and unity brought about by us deleting Facebook from the internet,” said a cryptic message broadcast from an unknown location. “But if you don’t comply with our demand for $700 billion dollars by 8 pm tonight, we will restore Facebook and unleash its evils upon the world once again.”

“NOOOOOOOO!” screamed everyone in horror at the thought of being doomed to once again scroll through Facebook’s clinically addictive interface, depressing newsfeed, and angry arguments with Aunt Guthrie. “Please! PLEASE! Make Facebook stay gone! Don’t let it come back!”

“8 pm tonight. $700 billion,” responded the hackers with a maniacal laugh. “Don’t disappoint us.”

According to sources, local woman Aunt Guthrie is still sitting at her desk clicking “refresh” over and over.

RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE:

In Major Disaster For Humanity, Facebook Comes Back Online

Dems Announce Joe Manchin Has Information That Will Lead To Arrest Of Hillary Clinton

Dr. Fauci Appears On Cover Of Playboy

Tragedy: Mom Experiences Sweet Picturesque Moment With Kids But Can’t Post It Since Instagram Is Down

Anti-Capitalist Cooking Show Teaches Authentic Soviet Union Recipe!

Thief Assures Victim Robbery Will Cost $0 Since Victim Is Paying For It

October 5, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by The Babylon Bee

COLUMBUS, OH—According to sources, local college student Tom Smith was robbed at gunpoint yesterday in the early morning hours as he was getting in his car. In a statement to police, he revealed that the gunman assured him the robbery would cost $0 since it would be paid for by the money being stolen.

“It all happened so fast,” said Smith. “He came out of nowhere, pointed a gun at me, and said, ‘Hands up! This is a socialism, see? Pay yer fair share, see?’, and then he proceeded to explain to me that I shouldn’t be upset because this robbery was totally paid for and would cost zero dollars.”

When Smith inquired to the armed thug as to how the robbery would be paid for, the thief responded saying: “It will be funded by you, since I am taking all your money and your car, which makes this robbery deficit-neutral, and therefore totally free! I don’t see what you’re so upset about!”

The thief then clubbed the victim on the head free of charge, and drove off with all Smith’s earthly possessions, to redistribute them to himself free of charge. Authorities have announced a manhunt for the thief. Latest reports indicate the car has been spotted in Washington D.C.

Babylon Mom: Don’t Judge Me By My Rude, Misbehaving Kids, But By My Fall Family Photos

October 5, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by The Babylon Bee

Hey everyone, sorry it’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. It’s just been crazy around here!

Fall is here, and ladies we all know what that means: cooler weather, Friday night football, and popping Xanax before your annual family photoshoot.

You know how it goes: you spend countless hours, sacrificing quality family time and even missing your second child’s birthday party, to piece together the most enviable fall wardrobe for your family photos. You know, for once in my life, I would just like to hear my 5-year-old say, “Thanks, Mom! Thanks for these $200 riding boots and tiny tailored blazer that make me look like a mini equestrian from a much richer family!” But, no. These kids are ungrateful, and honestly, not even that cute without my keen eye for styling, fresh haircuts, and heavily edited photography.

What’s more, is that my kids are too dense to realize that I’m doing all this for them! It’s like they don’t even realize that being a whiny, shrill, virus-multiplying creature is really not a good look on anyone. Which is why, on this one day, I must capture them in the perfect combination of warm tones, solids, plaids, infinity scarves, and Sherpa accents. All those school suspensions will be white noise behind the canvas on our wall that everyone will judge us by.

Sure, under all that flannel, there is a little tension by the time we arrive for the photoshoot. Perhaps threatening to smash my tween’s Nintendo with a hammer and slipping our toddler Benadryl was a bit extreme, but it’s only because I want people to be able to see the real them! I want people to see my children as I see them – or at least how I see them when I’m drunk on a couple’s getaway and feeling strangely nostalgic. Then, after months of preparation and several thousand dollars, in thirty minutes it’s all over. All those phone calls from the fire department about my kid shooting rockets off the nursing home roof are in the rearview. A new reality has arrived, framed forever in gorgeous mahogany.

Honest truth, if you can’t see past my children’s pathological behavior to their freshly pressed Boden and Dior attire, then I’m not sure I can help you. I admit, these kids of mine have left me questioning so many life decisions and maybe even prevented a small handful of our friends from becoming parents, but I think the number of views on my Insta is clearly redeeming. So do this mom a solid, and take a look at these remarkable family photos that we will be paying off for the next 12 months. I need this in my life. Look at them. LOOK AT THEM!

Toss your capitalist cookbooks aside, this anti-capitalist cooking show walks you through the grueling experience of cooking… the socialist way.

For more videos, subscribe to our Youtube channel.

RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE:

Infographic: How To Tell A Prison From A Public School

‘Trust Us To Make Health Decisions For You,’ Says Government Health Agency That Can’t Define What A Woman Is

Fast News Facts, All The News You Need

Terrifying New Horror Movie For Liberal Audiences Shows Politicians Leaving Them Alone, Letting Them Make Own Decisions

Crazed Nutjob Hellbent On Destroying Country With His Psychotic Moderate Policies

PSA: If You Have Liberals In Your Neighborhood, Remember To Check Your Kids’ Halloween Candy For Hidden Vaccines

October 2, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by The Babylon Bee

It is now Halloween season, so as parents you must be on alert for threats to your children. This year, make sure to carefully check your kids’ candy before they eat it, being especially on the lookout for vaccination needles.

The COVID-19 vaccine has not been approved for children, but some deranged individuals may try to vaccinate kids anyway by hiding needles inside the candy. If your children receive candy from anyone wearing a mask—like the paper ones, not werewolf masks—or if they have a “Hate Has No Home Here” sign in their yard, you need to be very cautious of the candy they receive.

Signs of a vaccine would be a needle sticking out of a candy bar. Also, there could be a label on it, such as “Pfizer Edible.” You may also find some Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups in your children’s candy; these aren’t a threat, but take a few for yourself, because checking candy is hard work.

Authorities say to be particularly suspicious if your kids trick-or-treat in Dr. Fauci’s neighborhood. He’s attracting kids to his house by giving out full-sized candy bars, but you want to check those carefully.

Watch our latest video on how to make sure your kids are absolutely terrified of COVID:

For more videos, subscribe to our Youtube channel.

RELATED POLTICAL SATIRE:

CDC Reminds People To Listen To All Medical Professionals Except For The Tens Of Thousands Who Refused The Vaccine

Sad: Biden Supporter Doesn’t Realize Nation Already Back To Normal Outside Window

Nation In Mourning As Government Shutdown Averted

Amazon Introduces Alexa-Powered Robot That Can Slap Problematic Books Out Of Your Hand

New York Atheists Claim Religious Exemption From Vaccine After Governor Claims That It’s From God

October 1, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by The Babylon Bee

ALBANY, NY—New York atheists have come out in force against the COVID-19 vaccine after learning that their state’s Governor Kathy Hochul claimed that God made the scientists, doctors, and researchers invent the vaccine. The state’s atheists were further incensed when Hochul displayed a religious emblem hanging from her neck that symbolized her acceptance of the holy vaccine.

Crowds of atheists pressed into the State Health Department’s headquarters to submit forms seeking religious exemptions from the vaccine requirement.

“We’re sick of these religious nutjobs in government forcing their religious convictions on the rest of us!” said Brett Winstone, president of the local Free Thinkers Society chapter. “This is not a theocracy! You will not force your god vaccine into our atheist veins!”

“A religious exemption for atheists like me makes perfect sense,” said fervent atheist Craig Nostic. “I mean, we’re always thinking about religion and talking about religion. My Christian friends are actually kind of sick of how I won’t stop talking about religion.”

When word spread that their religious exemptions would be accepted, the crowd of atheists fell to their knees in humility and offered praise and gratitude to the cold, unforgiving, empty, endless void.

Watch our latest video on how to make sure your kids are absolutely terrified of COVID:

For more videos, subscribe to our Youtube channel.

RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE VIDEO: Doctors Diagnose A Liberal

RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE COLUMNS:

9 Exciting Careers For Gender Studies Graduates

Straight-Faced Jen Psaki Denies Being Jen Psaki

Leftists Deeply Afraid Things Could Go Back To Normal

DISGUSTING: Disrespectful Football Player Kneels During Traditional ‘F Joe Biden’ Chant

Enraged Mormon BYU Football Crowd Shouts ‘Fudge Joe Biden!’

September 30, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by The Babylon Bee

PROVO, UT—Mormon students attending the Brigham Young University football game this past weekend joined other colleges across the country in expressing their opinion of President Biden.

“Fudge Joe Biden! Fudge Joe Biden!” chanted the football fans in between plays. Some local onlookers were shocked at the brazen obscenity, but others gleefully responded saying “Ohhh SNAP!”

“Golly, I’m pretty darn disappointed in Biden, what a frigging frikker,” said Beckett Johns, a first-year student at the school. “When he was elected, I was all like, ‘Dangit! What the heck?’ because he’s probably one of the most underwhelming presidents ever and a total butt.”

BYU’s leadership has condemned the obscene chant, saying “Gee whiz, we’re mighty peeved by this crappy behavior at our games.” They then immediately put their hands over their mouths as they had just accidentally said the word “crappy.”

Senator Mitt Romney has promised to withdraw his donations to the school if the obscene chant isn’t stopped.

Watch our latest undercover video report as the FBI busts a group of radical Trump supporters:

For more videos, subscribe to our Youtube channel.

RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE:

7 Powerful Verses In The Bible That Support Vaccination

Joe Sinks America

Army Football’s Winning Record In Jeopardy As General Milley Keeps Giving Opponents Their Playbook

Biden: ‘We Can Return To Normal When 3.5 Trillion Americans Have Been Vaccinated’

Biden Says We Can Afford $3.5T Bill Because China Just Gave Him This Cool New Visa Card With A Low Introductory Rate

September 29, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Biden promoted his record-breaking $3.5 trillion spending bill today, telling Americans it will basically cost us nothing since China was kind enough to give him a brand new VISA card with a $3.5 trillion credit limit and a very low introductory rate.

“C’mon, folks, that’s too good a deal to pass up!” said Biden in a press conference. “It’s basically free money! And President Xi promised me an introductory 0.0% APR for the first month! And I get points for gas and groceries with every purchase! How can you not take that deal?”

He then waved the card around for the cameras, causing the assembled press to “ooh” and “aah” at the shininess and redness of it.

Experts say the spending bill will solve all the problems our country faces and will continue to do so until it’s time to pass another one next month. The card will charge 0% interest for the first month, after which the rate increases to the firstborn child of every American citizen.

Biden has promised that after we’ve used up our Chinese credit card, he will fund further spending bills with a daring diamond heist, and he will then bet all the diamonds on black in a vegas casino craps table to make up the remaining funds.

Unfortunately, Biden’s plan to use his new VISA card was ruined when AOC got ahold of it and bought $1 trillion worth of “Tax The Rich” dresses.

Watch our latest undercover video report as the FBI busts a group of radical Trump supporters:

For more videos, subscribe to our Youtube channel.

10 Tips For Making Sure Your Kids Are Terrified Of COVID

September 29, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by The Babylon Bee

If there’s one thing we worry about as parents, it’s that our kids are not sufficiently scared of COVID-19. If our children don’t spend every waking hour fearful that they’ll get killed by a virus, they might accidentally let their masks slip down from their noses for a few seconds. And then we’re all dead.

So here are some tips to make sure your kids are sufficiently scared of COVID.
1) Buy a loud alarm and do COVID drills: “We saw someone on the street without a mask! Everyone hide under your beds!”

2) Tell them the COVID monster is hiding in their closet waiting to eat them up if they take off their mask: If there’s one thing kids are terrified of, it’s monsters. This is because they are dumb. Use that dumbness to your advantage and manipulate their trust and fear to slow the spread!

3) Constantly talk about “long COVID”: If your child ever encounters another child who has recovered from COVID, that might convince them not to be scared. So tell them all those people now have “long COVID” and are secretly disfigured and maimed for life.

4) Tell them Elmo died from COVID: Kids love Elmo. And he’d still be around if everyone had gotten the vaccine and worn their masks properly.

5) Get them a pretend vaccine card: They can practice showing it to everyone before interacting with people to know how important that is. But make sure they know they’re still a deadly danger to everyone around them since they’re not really vaccinated.

6) Tell them they’re not going back to school because all their teachers and classmates died from COVID: It’s only a white lie. They’re most likely never going to see a regular classroom again anyway.

7) In addition to wearing a mask outside, also have your kids wear blindfolds: Tell them it’s to protect them from seeing all the horrors of the COVID-ravaged land.

8) Hire a psychopath to dismember one of your pets and tell them COVID did that: It will be a striking reminder about the dangers of COVID. Plus, local psychopaths are always looking for work.

9) Tell them Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is hiding in their closet: All that man wants to do is kill people with COVID!

10) Cut all power and water to your house and claim society has completely collapsed from nearly everyone dying of COVID: You’re just preparing them for next year.

Follow these tips, and your kids should spend most of their days curled up in a ball and shaking in fear of the virus coming to get them — and scientists say being curled up on the floor really reduces the chance of spread. Now that’s some good parenting!

RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE:

Australian Hospitals Over Capacity With People Beaten By Police For Not Wearing Masks

Wife Claims $3.5 Trillion Spending Spree At Target Actually Cost $0

Trump Finally Concedes He Only Won 2020 Election By A Small Margin

Boss Warns All New Employees He Will Fire Them Immediately If People On Twitter Tell Him To

9 Signs A News Outlet Might Be Biased

September 29, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by The Babylon Bee

We here at the Babylon Bee are passionate about helping our readers discern truth from fiction. You may not know this, but a lot of news outlets are really biased these days! How can you tell whether the news is giving you the whole story? Well, buckle up, because here are 9 very subtle clues to look for that could indicate a news outlet might be biased.

Here they are:

They employ journalists: We’re not sure who thought it was ever a good idea to hire journalists to give the news. Journalists are just the worst.
They do not begin each news segment with an opening prayer: This is a sure sign that they hate your faith and all your traditions. Don’t watch!!
The news anchor has a “BIDEN HARRIS” tattoo on his face: This could be an indicator that he is biased towards the Democrats. Sad!
Donald TRUMP’s name is not in all capital letters: And if they don’t refer to him as “Dear Leader”, they probably hate America.
They don’t precede every mention of the 2020 election with the word “stolen”: Literally everyone knows the election was stolen from Dear Leader TRUMP! If they disagree, they’re probably biased libs.
Their “panel of experts” is four stuffed animals and Stacy Abrams: Well, to be honest, that bear in the middle seems to know what he’s talking about.
A laser dot appears on their forehead every time they mention Hillary Clinton: This could indicate they are being subtly pressured to spin the news in her favor.
You have never once heard them say “Orange Man Good”: Yeah, you’ve heard them say “Orange Man Bad”, but have you ever heard them say “Orange Man Good”?: You need balance!
Any stories about Hunter Biden appear in 1pt Papyrus font: They’re hoping you can’t see them. Don’t be fooled!

After Being Fired By Biden, Radicalized Horses Storm Capitol Shouting ‘Trump Won!’

September 28, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Upset at being laid off under Joe Biden just like millions of other Americans, former Border Patrol horses stormed the Capitol building Friday shouting “Trump won!”

Tensions have risen in the horse community since the Border Patrol horses were fired. According to some studies, horse unemployment has risen some 900% since Biden took office, causing some analysts to believe this was a powder keg ready to blow. And sure enough, today, in the most significant political protest at the Capitol since January 6, the horses converged on the Capitol Building demanding that Trump be reinstated so they could get their jobs back.

“This has gone on long enough!” shouted the group’s leader, Mr. Ed Hoofer. “We aren’t going to sit around with long faces anymore. We’re going to trot right in there and let Nancy Pelosi know that we’re the glue that keeps this nation together! Down with Biden! Trump won! Trump won!”

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is calling the stampede “the worst travesty since 9/11,” while Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has claimed she was already trampled to death by the horses.

One horse was seen galloping away with Nancy Pelosi’s lectern, while another sat in her office and got his hoofprints all over her desk. Both have been charged with double ultimate extreme treason, the worst kind of treason.

RELATED POLITICAL SAITRE:

Study Finds Horse Unemployment Has Risen 900% Under Biden Administration

Border Patrol Ordered To Chase Immigrants With Segways And Pool Noodles

Powerful: AOC Shows Up To Iron Dome Vote In Dress Reading ‘Kill The Jews’

AOC Weeps After Learning That Voting ‘Present’ Doesn’t Mean She Gets Presents

AOC Unveils Custom ‘Tax The Rich’ Tesla

September 24, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took the fight to tax the wealthy to the streets today with the unveiling of her custom-made, $100,000 “Tax the Rich” Tesla.

The limited-edition, high-end electric car sports a custom “Tax the Rich” decal designed by a wealthy millionaire socialist. Ocasio-Cortez says she hopes it will make a “powerful statement” about wealth inequality in our society while she’s driving around town or illegally parked in front of Whole Foods picking up $8 kombuchas. Only 500 of them will be released, as it’s “very exclusive” and “only for people who are very, like, serious about taxing the rich and who can afford it. We don’t want riffraff promoting this message, you know.”

“We need to like, tax the rich, and, like, make sure they pay their fair share,” AOC said to reporters as she unveiled the custom car in front of her posh D.C. apartment, complete with leather couches, expensive rugs, and even a garbage disposal. “When I’m driving through D.C. to my appointments with rich lobbyists and stuff, I’m totally going to just massively own the rich with this thing. They’ll be like, ‘Oh man, she’s right! We should be taxed!’ as I fly by them in the express lane.”

After her team-up with Tesla to release the custom model, Ocasio-Cortez says she is working on a custom “Tax the Rich” Bentley, a “Tax the Rich” Gulfstream, and a private island terraformed to read “Tax the Rich.”

Joey’s Beach Getaway

September 23, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by Christopher Cirino

Good day Deano,

I hope today finds you well, over there as the Executive Editor at the NYTimes. Well it has been another banner week or so for the Harris/Biden administration. The hits just keep on coming for what is being called, possibly, the greatest installed Presidency in history. I ask, is there anything this guy Joey touches—that doesn’t turn to gold? Today we will examine the radical right perspective as they try and drag down Joey’s stellar job performance.

JOEY’S BEACH GETAWAY

So, after tackling crisis after crisis, Joey headed over to his beach house in Delaware for a well deserved long weekend. After all, it has been a good week or so since his last long weekend. It was such a joy to see Joey out biking with the radiant “Dr” Jill Biden, aka Hunter’s babysitter. It was a nice job by the press corps to zoom in on Joey, this way you couldn’t see the training wheels on his bike. They say by next summer these may come off. Bravo Joey, bravo, well done. Afterwards, I understand Joey glued some sea shells to some oak tag and the “Dr” hung it on the beach estates refrigerator. Meanwhile………..

MILITARY EXPERTS

This much deserved getaway, not to be confused with the previous weeks getaway was the result of all the pressure from all his military blunders, sorry I mean decisions.
Well nobody tells Joey what to do, I think we all know that by now, so he made some command decisions. Joey’s had the military conduct a drone air strike on a known ISIS-K operative….a direct hit with pinpoint accuracy. This of course was in retaliation (diversionary tactic ) for the loss of our 13 heroic troops killed as a result of Joey’s concise, expert, decision making…or grossly, grossly inept decision making, depending on who you’re talking to. General Woke Milley declared this a “Righteous strike,” as well as General (shoot first, ask questions later) McKenzie claiming it a “success.” News outlets such as your always apolitical NY Times we’re singing it’s praises, as retaliation for our sacrificed service members.

Here’s the rub though Deano, the drone killed 10 innocent civilians, including 7 children. It seems General Woke Milley is now calling this, “a horrible tragedy of war, it is heart wrenching.” General Kenny McKenzie, calling it a “tragic mistake.” Even Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin chimed in saying also, “it was a tragic mistake.” Old Lloyd was supposed to appear before the Senate a couple of weeks ago with that other superstar of the Harris administration Secretary of State Tony “I don’t recall” Blinkin. It seems old Lloyd had a scheduling conflict and couldn’t make it that week…..these things happen during Congressional hearings, I guess. Sources say he was immersed in one of Hunter’s art shows and was doing some heavy bidding and couldn’t get away. Democratic Senator Menendez exclaimed that he would have Lloyd subpoenaed! But alas, that never materialized, perhaps the Senator got a call from the big guy, or maybe he got involved in a bidding war with Old Lloyd over one of Hunter’s masterpieces. President Trump is a racist!

JOEY SHINES AT THE UNITED NATIONS

You know Deano, I can’t tell you the sense of pride I feel watching Joey Talibiden up at the mic wooing the general assembly. Him calling for the “relentless diplomacy,” was simply awe-inspiring. What a long way he has come since former Prime Minister Tony Blair branded Joey an imbecile. There was no mention of France or allies deserted in Afghanistan though. He also said America is back to the negotiating table…he forgot to mention that he is negotiating with the Taliban. As Jen Goebbels Psaki has stated, “the Taliban (extreme terrorist organization) is working in a very professional manner……” you know, like trying to get our U.S. citizens home, before they start to hunt them down, which is very nice of them. Maybe he should take a page out of Barack Hussein’s playbook and start sending plane loads of money over there, like old Barack did with Iran. I tried to reach out to Barack, but he is busy planning his next birthday party at the vineyard, (no mask required.)

PRESS CONFERENCE CONFUSION

Well, Joe sat down with Boris Johnson of the UK for a bit to take questions from reporters, after their stimulating exchange of ideals. After speaking, Boris asked if they could take a couple of questions to which Joey replied, “good luck.” I mean is he installed Presidential material, or what? He is just so professional and diplomatic! Boris chuckled, and then took a series of questions. Here is the confusing part Deano, it seems Joey didn’t take any questions at all, which is so very unlike him. When Boris was wrapping up his last question, Joey’s handlers started SCREAMING, “it’s over, everybody out.” Boris seemed a bit confused to this new protocol for the newly installed puppet, sorry I mean President. Little Red Lying Hood Psaki said, Boris sabotaged Joey by taking questions, as he wasn’t prepared with a list of questions and prepared answers. Silly Boris, wasn’t he briefed by Joey’s handlers, I mean staff.

May I suggest, that they start playing heavy metal music at full volume, as soon as reporters start to ask questions. You know, so there is no chance Joey will start to answer any questions what so ever. Then Joey could just pop up and run to the back door, then someone could announce Joey has left the building, just like Elvis. Maybe he could start doing his scripted remarks in sequin suits and a cape, like the King…to show his youth and virility.

I figured he was covered with the cue cards provided to him when he sat down, you know telling him who the Prime Minister was and to say hello to him, to say excuse me, if he coughed, etc, etc. I also know, someone is at the kill switch, because his feed has been cut off mid sentence numerous times lately. I stand corrected, that is when he is conducting virtual meetings………with a mask on? Ya can’t be too careful, especially if you’re on camera trying to push a narrative to instill control. Couldn’t they fly in George Stephanopoulos to ask Joey his favorite ice cream flavor or color perhaps, you know to show his competence, and put us all at ease. He used to run up airplane stairs to prove his physical agility, but that didn’t go well, resulting in him crawling up the stairs on all fours.

CONSERVATIVES ARE LOST FOR WORDS

Even with all the great accomplishments of the Harris/Talibiden administration, the radical right is beside themselves. They are saying the United States has become the laughing stock to the entire world starting with the mentally addled, installed, puppet, masquerading as the President. This includes his equally inept, missing in action VP, Kalamity Harris, whose major contribution during all of these crises is performing a coin toss at a college footbal game……what an asset! Word is her pants suit and pumps were magnificent though. Or his cabinet of incompetents, and partners in utter mayhem, Schumer, Pelosi, Pocahontas Warren, Millionaire Sanders, Et al. They also mention the propaganda machines such as your NEW YORK TIMES, Deano, as well as WAPO,MSNBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, who rarely mention a bad word about this train wreck of an administration. Too busy (wink, wink), working on Russian collusion hoaxes or tax returns, to pay any attention to the humanitarian disasters in Afghanistan or the Southern border, or rampant shooting in all major cities. Remember Deano, ignore, deflect, or when in doubt, blame President Trump. You know the drill buddy!

Conservatives cannot decide if it is possible to absolutely be this incompetent, or is it just a nefarious plan to bring down the once greatest country in the world, with of course , your help there Deano. Beijing Biden was touted as a moderate Democrat. I don’t know Deano, do his policies and decision making seem to be moderate?Conservatives are calling this Barack Hussein 3.0 on steroids, and then some more steroids, very Squad like. Speaking of the Squad I just love the bartender AOC, don’t you Deano? She recently proposed to empty out prisoners from Rikers Island, no questions asked, just release them. I mean what could wrong, simply brilliant. I see a future White House candidate there.

They point to the treasonous behavior of “General” Milley and his phone calls behind a sitting Presidents back to China. You know to give them a heads up if and when the POTUS planned to use military action. I mean with that thinking, Eisenhower should have called Hitler before D-Day or perhaps MacArthur giving the heads up to the Emperor of Japan before the Iwo Jima invasion. Resign, hell they say they should conduct a court martial, for committing treason. But hey, he has Joey’s full endorsement, even if old Joe does keep calling him General Patton. But look at the bright side, he has West Point teaching CRT……….priorities Deano, priorities.

HOLIDAYS WITH THE BIDEN’S

On a positive note Joey and “Dr” Jill received an early Christmas card from the Taliban. You know for the gift of over $85,000,000,000 worth of military equipment. I hope they pass that $3,500,000,000,000 “infrastructure” Build Back Better Reconciliation Plan….c’mon man we have to outfit more terrorist organizations and countries that hate us. Let’s go Conservatives, get with the program.
As a side note, Nancy may fly in on her broom for the Christmas holidays to the Biden estate or possibly beach compound. She’ll bring the gourmet ice cream, no doubt. No masks required obviously, unless of course cameras are around. Joey said he hopes the Easter bunny shows up for Christmas, and brings him a chocolate bunny.

VACCINE MANDATE………FOR SOME THAT IS

They point out Joey’s Federal mandate (diversionary tactic for botched drone strike), that companies with 100 employee’s or more must be vaccinated. Funny though, members of Congress, their staff, Federal judges and of all people, the USPS are exempt. I mean the Post Office comes into contact with people everyday, Deano old sport. Word is he may rescind that order for postal workers on 11/9/22. Odd date but that is just Joey being Joey, always transparent and striving for unity. President Trump is a racist!

THE NEW YORK TIMES (AND THEIR JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY)

Well, as usual, I can’t thank you enough Dean Baquet for your journalistic professionalism for printing all the news that is fit to print in The NY Times. Even if Conservatives call it a propaganda machine that acts as a political arm for this Socialist administration. They have compared you many, many times to the Communist publication Pravda! They also point out that comparison is somewhat unfair, as Pravda has much more integrity than the NYTimes. Good news is you are closing in on the National Inquirer for journalistic integrity. Keep up the good work, your family must be so proud. I think the owner of the Times, A.G. Slushyberger owes you a raise for all your unbiased, apolitical oversight on your reporters. Yep, a real shining example to our children on how to conduct yourself professionally with the utmost integrity.

HUNTER IS BACK IN THE NEWS

On a side note, maybe we can talk next week about Hunter’s laptop which is back in the News. It seems liberal outlets (thankfully, not yours Deano) are NOW saying this is legitimate and needs to be investigated. It is no longer being called Russian disinformation ( I love that catch phrase). I guess it must be getting close to having Cackling Kamala installed. I just hope she doesn’t have a coin toss or in depth interview on The View planned for the installation date.

Sincerely,

Chris Cirino

New York Restaurant Adds Voting Booth So They Can Allow People In Without ID

September 22, 2021/in Commentary, DrRichSwier.com, Political Satire /by The Babylon Bee

NEW YORK, NY—In an effort to circumvent the city’s vaccine passport regulations, a midtown eatery has installed a voting booth and designated itself as a polling place so it can allow in anyone without any ID at all.

Mikey’s Eats did a brisk business on the day, as the front of the restaurant was crowded by protestors for/against vaccines, for/against vaccine mandates, and for/against vote fraud. The protestors frequently lost track of who they wanted to yell at, changed sides, and dejectedly walked into the restaurant to console themselves with the chef’s special avocado burger.

A lawyer for the ACLU was also present. He spent the day alternating between threatening the restaurant with lawsuits, congratulating them for their commitment to democracy, and openly weeping.

Owner Mikey DeCarlo said, “A guy from [Mayor] de Blasio’s office came by and said he was going to shut us down, except for the voting booth part which he said he would defend to the death. Then he asked if he could get an avocado burger in the voting booth. He was crying a lot.”

RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE:

Medical Schools Update Hippocratic Oath To Exclude The Unvaccinated

Border Patrol Loses Horse Privileges, Must Now Bang Two Empty Halves Of Coconuts Together

Trudeau Re-Elected Sultan Of Canada

New iPhone 13 Will Require Vaccination To Unlock Screen

Dr. Fauci Uninvited From Board Game Night As He Keeps Changing The Rules As He Goes