Democrat States Follow The Science By Doing What Florida Did Back In May


U.S.—Democrat-run states are now calling on the nation to follow the science by doing what Florida did back in May, opening their economies with reasonable precautions and protections for the vulnerable.
The states are all now suggesting we begin reopening and that our economies cannot stay closed forever. They are calling this process “following the science,” though apparently they mean “follow what Republican states like Texas, Florida, and South Dakota did months ago.”
“We must follow the science by doing what Republican states did eight months ago,” said Governor Cuomo. “Now that Biden will be our president, it is time for the pandemic to end.”
D.C. Mayor Bowser agreed, saying, “The SCIENCE says we must reopen. We cannot kill every small business and restaurant in the city. Think about how a tanking economy would hurt President Biden.”
She also said, “We must catch that rascally plumber Mario!”
Governor Newsom isn’t quite on board yet, saying he will wait to follow the science and reopen until Kamala Harris is president.
RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE:
‘Skynet Is A Private Company, They Can Do What They Want,’ Says Man Getting Curb-Stomped By Terminator
BLM Celebrates MLK’s Birthday By Tearing Down A Statue Of Him
Most Popular President In History To Be Inaugurated In Secret Behind Giant Wall Guarded By Thousands Of Soldiers
Evangelical Prophets Clarify That Trump’s Second Term Will Be Spiritual, Not Literal
Depressed Brian Stelter Spends All Day Hitting Refresh On Trump’s Twitter Page

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.