U.S.—Business owners in Democrat-controlled cities are boarding up in preparation for an onslaught of mostly peaceful demonstrations should Trump win the election Tuesday.
The real concern is that the party of love and tolerance loses the election.
“We just want to make sure our businesses will be safe from the sudden outpouring of peace, love, and tolerance,” said one frightened business owner in Los Angeles as he frantically boarded up his hookah lounge. “You know, too much peace can sometimes intensify and end up destroying millions of dollars of property. You know, from all the peace.”
“Can’t be too careful when there’s roaming bands of people spreading peace.”
Many business owners are even arming themselves with firearms to protect themselves from all the peace.
RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE:
Chelsea Handler Patrols Polling Places To Make Sure No Black People Are Voting For Trump
FBI Uncovers Plot By Rian Johnson To Direct An Episode Of The Mandalorian
Trump Aides Beg Him To Call A Lid After He Drinks 45 Cups Of Coffee And Campaigns For 237 Hours Straight
ACB Hangs Up Sticker Chart To Help The Justices Remember Their Daily Chores
EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.